The Men Who Feel Left Out Of US Abortion Debate
‘After the fury has degenerated, after getting rid of alcoholism done to tackle the problems that arise in life even after the immergence of a great family in your life a great sorrow is still there and might stay there forever’.
It is a message from the men sharing their experiences of abortion. It is a voice that no one hears among the loud and noisy voice of the crowd talking about the abortions in the USA. The supporters of abortion rights say that the group is just an outliner and has not been able to speak on behalf of the majority of men who are involved in cases of abortion.
At present, the most common male views that show are lawmakers trying to restrict abortion procedures, representing the rage of people who support the open legal access to abortion on a voluntary basis and blaming them of authorizing the women’s bodies. But today the fathers-to-be denied by the abortion are speaking for their rights.
An abortion clinic situated in Alabama has been sued by a man whose girlfriend had an abortion at six weeks of pregnancy without his permission in 2017. This is the first time in the history of courts that the court has identified the fetus as the accuser and the father as a guardian of his baby’s rights. While talking to a news agency in February he said that he was there as a spokesman for all those men out there who wanted to keep their baby.
He said that he wanted to keep his baby but his girlfriend did not agree to it, he said that he did everything he could to convince her to give birth to the baby but she refused and he was just helpless. At present, in the United States of America, the fathers who are responsible for the conception of the baby have no right to stop the abortion and the choice is that of the women. In other words, the women are legally very strong in making their choice of giving birth to a baby or getting it aborted.
The Supreme Court of America has already rejected the appeal of giving a little say to the fathers of the babies, or he should be notified about the abortion before it happens.
A 65 years old man shared his experience and said that when he was living a happy single life at the age of 30 a woman he was seeing told him that she was pregnant. He decided to keep the child and support her pregnancy but the lady did not agree to it. He was so overwhelmed with joy that he offered her to marry her, he even offered her to take the full responsibility of the baby if she did not want to get married.
The woman did not accept any of his offers and opted for an abortion and he could do nothing but to take her to an abortion clinic and bear the expenses. He felt guilty conscious and had to move to California as he could not bear the burden he was feeling for what he did. Mr. Locker said that he felt so bad that he was on a brink to suicide when starting his family with a new woman saved his life. He said that even after starting a family he has been thinking of that day and the abortion he could not stop every single day of the 32 yeas that have passed.
According to the expert counselors who give counseling session to men who become upset about the abortion after it happens. There are a lot of men who think about their role in the conception as well as the abortion after the lady gets the baby aborted against their will. The experts say that there are four different ways in which the men are involved in abortion and all these ways leave them helpless and traumatized.
In some cases men force the women for abortion against their own will and some men say that they will support their women either way they decide but they convince the women for abortion, the third type of men are not even informed about the conception and the baby is aborted without them knowing about it and the fourth type of men are those who don’t want their women to opt for abortion but the women don’t listen.
According to polling done about the reaction of women regarding the abortions most of them say that they do not regret their decision of going for an abortion. Much fewer studies are there about the reaction of the would-be fathers on abortion. The data about the reaction of men about abortion of the baby they were responsible for is available at the support groups for post-abortive men.
As this data is limited to the men who seek counseling help it cannot be generalized. But according to the data of the post-abortive men, most of the cases have some common reactions, the feeling of guilt, shame, anger and depression on each anniversary.
From the beginning of time the men are known to be the protectors and providers of their families so, the abortions create a feeling of failure as a man. The men who come for counseling have the feeling of being a failure as a responsible man, as a protector of the mother and his own unborn child.